I’m The Parent Guide, and I Can Help!

Is your child’s infinite energy creating problems in your home? Are you having to deal with meltdowns on a daily or weekly basis? Is your child disorganized, having trouble getting started with tasks, or always forgetting something? Could ADHD be the problem? Do you wish you could somehow make parenting easier? If you are feeling overwhelmed, underappreciated, and ill-prepared, Parent Coaching can offer you the hope, support, and confidence you need in order to cultivate a more peaceful and joyful family life.

I Can Help Support You on Your Parenting Journey

You are not alone. As a mother of three children, I can relate to the demands and pressures of parenting. The responsibility of raising a child is pressure enough on its own, but parents today are also surrounded by social media, endless idea databases for how to properly fill our child’s day, and parenting guru blogs that can make even the best of us feel hopelessly inadequate. (No joke, it’s tough stuff! Social media is to parenting as WebMD is to hypochondria!) But the truth is, you are a dedicated and loving parent who wants the best for your child(ren), otherwise you wouldn’t be on this site. So, welcome, and pleased to meet you. My name is Peggy Gomula. I am a PCI Certified Parent Coach®, as well as a Screamfree Parenting™ Leader; and I’m here to help.

peggy-gomula

The Parent Guide Blog

Happy Mother’s Day!
"Grown don’t mean nothing to a mother. A child is a child. They get bigger, older, but grown? What’s that suppose to mean? In my heart it don’t mean a thing" ~Toni Morrison, Beloved, 1987 Good Morning! I so totally get this quote. My children are "grown" but as Toni Morrison says in her quote today "In my heart it don't mean a thing." A mother is a mother no matter how young or how old her children are. As a mom I will always be concerned about my children. I am always wondering if they are healthy, if they are eating the right foods, if they are taking care of themselves, if they are happy. They are on my mind throughout each and every day of my life. I still try and protect them, long after they are perfectly capable of protecting themselves. I am there when my children need me and, much to their chagrin, I am often there when they don't. :) I love them unconditionally, no matter what they do. Even thought they are bigger and older and starting families of their own, my children will always be my children, no matter how grown up they are, because, “in my heart it don’t mean a thing”. So… I wish ALL of the moms out there a very happy and special and fun Mother’s Day! Have some fun today, peggy [more]
Staying Calm – Building Relationships
"Nothing gives one person so much advantage over another as to remain always cool and unruffled under all circumstances." -Thomas Jefferson, 3rd US president (1743-1826) Good Morning! I believe that staying calm is the single most important thing a parent can do for their children. Pretty big statement - I know. But having lived through raising three children and for a long time not staying calm, I can tell you with complete honesty that staying calm saved my relationship with my children. And I know this for a fact because my eldest daughter has told me so! When we lose our tempers, we scare our children - not just because we are loud and angry but also because suddenly they don't know who is in charge. If we "lose it" our children figure that we are out of control ( which we are) and if we are out of control then there is no one in charge. Being a child and having no one in charge is a very, very scary feeling. Before I learned how to control my anxieties, my eldest and I use to argue all the time - about big things and small. I would say that our relationship was at a low point but honestly I don't think that we had a relationship. Once I learned that losing my temper was MY problem, I practiced and practiced staying calm. The arguments became less and less and we started to form a relationship. A relationship that brought us closer every year and a relationship that has grown as the years have gone by. Today, I have have wonderful relationships with all three of my children. I know that the reason is that I learned and practiced how to stay calm. I treasure these relationships immensely, because I know how close I came to losing them. So...practice, practice, practice staying calm. Keep practicing and soon you will see your patience muscles growing stronger and stronger. If you do the work, and if you keep practicing, I promise the rewards will be amazing! If you would like some strategies on how to stay calm, email me and let's talk about it. Have some fun today! peggy [more]
When Life Gets Way Too Busy
“Don’t mistake movement for achievement. It’s easy to get faked out by being busy. The question is: Busy doing what?” – Jim Rohn Good morning! A lot has been going on in my life lately. We moved, we are downsizing so there are a lot of decisions to make on what to keep and what to give away, we are in the middle of a remodel, my daughter is getting married in August and on and on and on. In other words, I have been very busy. Too busy to connect with friends, too busy to exercise, too busy to just be quiet and think. My head has been spinning and I have been feeling like life is rushing past me. This past weekend I finally took some time to just sit and be quiet with myself. I came up with an amazing revelation. I am the one who schedules my time so I get to decide how busy I am and what I want to be busy with. Now, for a lot of you this may not be a big revelation but for me this was a huge reminder. I knew this before, but it had somehow gotten lost in the shuffle of life. I imagine you are wondering - what is the point of this story? My point is that I realized that I will always be "busy”. My point is that there will always be something to take away my attention from what really is important. My point is that although I am busy I am really not accomplishing and doing all of the things that I want to. As our quote says today - “The question is: Busy doing what?" This is not the first time in my life that I have been “busy”. When I was a young mom I was always busy. Busy doing all the mundane tasks of life. Carpool, laundry, keeping the house clean, going to meetings and on and on and on. I thought that since I was so busy I must be a good mom. But I was wrong. Busy kept me from enjoying what was happening right at that moment. Busy kept me from taking the time to color with my children, from taking the time to just sit and listen to them as they described their day,and busy kept me from lying outside on the grass with my children and watching the clouds go by. I can’t go back and change the way I was but I can start today and take charge of my life. I can make the decision to be “busy” with the things that I enjoy and the things that “fill up my tank” and the things that make me happy.Too So...if you find yourself being busy all of the time, stop and think for a moment. Is what you are doing more important than spending time with your children? Ten years down the road will what you are doing matter more than playing with your children? What memories do you want to have later in your life- being busy or playing hide and seek with your children? Take charge of your life and turn your “busy” into time that you spend doing what matters most! Have some fun today! peggy   [more]
How Much Freedom Should We Give Our Children?
If you are a parent, open doors to unknown directions to the child so he can explore. Don't make him afraid of the unknown,give him support. ” ― Osho There has been a lot of talk in the news lately about how much freedom do we allow our children to have. Are they allowed to stay home alone? Walk to the park alone? Climb to the very top of the jungle gym? Ride their bike to their friend’s house? There is even a name for parents advocating for more freedom for children - the free range movement. I get both sides. I understand that we need to protect our children. But I also know that we need to give our children some freedom to explore the world and not be afraid. So I suppose that there needs to be a middle ground somewhere. How, as parents, do we know where that is?? I would love to give you an answer but I can't. I can't because I don't know you or know your children. The only one who can decide when their children are ready for something, is you. Tough call, I know. I would suggest though that you take the advice of the writer of our quote today, and open the doors and let your children explore. I am not suggesting that you open your front door, shove them out and then slam the door. I am suggesting that you support them in their exploration of the unknown. That you support their innate curiosity by encouraging them to take chances, to investigate, to fail, to succeed, to have fun and to discover this great big wonderful world. With you by their side they will never be afraid and just think of all that they will learn! Have some fun today! peggy   [more]
Being “Yourself”
"Everyone always says to be yourself...like "yourself" is this definite thing...like a toaster, or something." -Angela, My So-Called Life Good Morning! We often put ourselves and our children into categories. I am not the smart one, I was the pretty one growing up, I am not the math one, she is the pretty one, he is the smart one, she is the athletic one, she loves to argue so she is going to a lawyer, he loves to build so he will grow up to be an engineer and on and on and on. I am not sure why this seems so easy for us - I guess we all like to have things neat and tidy and by putting everyone into a certain category it does seem to make things neat and tidy. BUT it also limits us and limits our children. ALL of us, adults and children alike, are constantly, growing and changing. What and who we are now is not necessarily who we will BE. We can decide today to do whatever we want, to be whoever we want to be, to make choices that are completely different from the ones we made yesterday. We can and should be growing every day! So...don't limit yourself or your child by putting them or yourself into neat and tidy categories, don't label anyone when they they are not finished ( and hopefully may never be finished). Enjoy your children for who they are right NOW and don't worry about who they will become. Have some fun today! peggy Peggy Gomula The Parent Guide theparentguide.net   [more]
I Would Rather Laugh
“Life is way too short, so try to enjoy every minute of it with a sense of humor!” ― Christina Scalise, Are We Normal? Funny True Stories from an Everyday Family Good Morning! It has been a long time since I was able to sit down in a relatively quiet place and start writing again. As most of you know about 2.5 months ago my husband and I picked up and moved from AZ to WA. Most people think we have it a bit backwards but there was just something that was telling me it was time to move. All three of my daughters live up here and since they are married, engaged or have a steady boyfriend, I am figuring that my new title of Grandma, or Mama Peg or whatever they choose to call me, hopefully will be coming soon. As you can imagine it has been quite the experience, sometimes amazing, sometimes a bit “meh” and sometimes downright disappointing. Sort of like being a parent. :) What enabled my husband and I to get through this situation and all of the other interesting situations that we have experienced in our life is our sense of humor. Sometimes the only thing left to do is to see the humor and just laugh. The same thing also holds true for being a parent. There will always be ”situations” to deal with while you are raising your children. And just like my move some will be amazing, some will be just “meh” and some will be downright disappointing. But if you can laugh your way through all of these situations you life will seem so much easier and everyone, including you, will look at your “situations” in a whole new way! If feels great to be back at my desk. It feels great to be back writing. It feels great to be back helping parents. Have some fun today! peggy Peggy Gomula The Parent Guide. LLC           [more]
Hello from Seattle
  Good Morning! An update from our incredible journey to Seattle.  We just moved suites in our B & B so I am back trying to figure out where I put everything!  Eventually I hope to find at least some of the basic things that I need. :)  Paperwork is slowing moving along on the house we have put an offer on.  Inspections are done and now we wait for the appraisal - hopefully our last hurdle.  Our realtor tells us we are aiming for a January 30th closing so I am keeping my fingers crossed that all goes well. Seattle has been both rainy and sunny but for me it has just been cold.  I am hoping my AZ blood thickens up pretty soon.  Until then my thermal underwear is coming in really handy.   Thank you all for being so patient with me - I hope to be blogging regularly by the middle of Feb.  Until then I will keep popping in from time to time. Have some fun today!!!! peggy Tip of the Day: "Nothing is so aggravating as calmness."                                                                             Oscar Wilde Good Morning!   As parents, when we manage to stay (or least look) calm in the face of major button pushing by our children it will totally throw them off.  Especially if, in the past, you have jumped in and given them the fight they were looking for.  Children are pretty smart.  They know that if they can push your buttons and get you all excited a couple of things happen.  One, they are thoroughly entertained as you light up like a video game and two, you won't be thinking very logically so whatever happened is likely to get pushed to the background. When you stay calm, they have no idea what to do.  They are simply flabbergasted and usually the fight just drains out of them.  Remember the old adage - it takes two to have a fight.  If you refuse to engage then there is no excitement, there is no fight and there are appropriate consequences to be faced. So...the next time you are challenged by one of your children - stay or at least look calm.  Don't let them goad you into losing your calmness.  Stand your ground and watch the disappointment and disbelief in their faces. Have some fun today! peggy     [more]
Change
  “I know not all that may be coming, but be it what it will, I'll go to it laughing.” ― Herman Melville, Moby-Dick; or, The Whale Good Morning! A little off of the usual path this morning.  I share a lot of my past in this blog and so today I thought I would share a bit of my future. It is 99% official.  We have sold the house!  We sign papers today and as long as there are no glitches it will be recorded on Tuesday and we will officially hand it over to the new owners.  WhooHoo! In light of this big change we decided to keep going with the whole change theme. So...we sold our cars and bought a new Subaru Crosstrek hybrid, in preparation for our move to SEATTLE!  Can you tell I am a bit excited.  To be honest, I will miss the sun but it will be more than made up for with the fact that I will be in the same city as my three daughters.  To be closer to them has been on my mind for a long time and I am thrilled to be able to have the chance to see them more than once or twice a year. I sure am hoping that they feel the same way. :) We are still looking for a house to live in but I am trusting that all will work out. I hope that like Herman Melville, although I have no idea of what is coming I will be able to "go to it laughing". It has been quite a whirlwind the last few weeks. Getting the offer on the house, anxiously awaiting the appraisal, filling out all of the paperwork and packing and packing and packing.  It sure has surprised me how much we have accumulated in just a few short years!  Since we will be downsizing in Seattle it also is surprising how much stuff we needed to get rid of!  Thank goodness for garage sales. :) The movers will load the truck on Monday and start their trek to the Northwest.  I will be flying up to Seattle on Tuesday and Joe and the dog will leave in the new car on the Thursday to begin their long drive. It is going to be even more hectic for the next few weeks.  The moving alone makes it a bit busy, but add Christmas into the mix and I have a distinct feeling that life is going to be turned upside down for quite awhile. I am not sure when I will be posting again.  I will try my best and please know that I will be thinking about all of you but I am putting my needs and the needs of my family first.   ( basically I am finally taking my own advice :). ) I am going to take the next few weeks to begin to embrace my new life, my new city and to enjoy what is left of this wonderful Christmas season.  I will be back as soon as I can and I hope that you will all be there waiting to hear from me once again. Have a great Holiday Season, don't forget to take the time to just sit back and enjoy your wonderful families and of course, have some fun! Be back soon... peggy   [more]
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