One of my children was a “strong willed” child. It took me a long time to realize that she was feeling out of control and what she really needed was someone to hold her and reassure her and listen to what she had to say. I sure wish I had learned that a bit earlier. Unfortunately, I was a “strong willed” child and I was parenting my daughter as I was parented. Thankfully, one day I woke up and realized that this pattern had to change, so I learned to parent her in a whole new way and to not take her “attacks” or her refusals personally.
And that “strong willed” child- she grew up to be a wonderful young woman who still has a mind very much her own. I am so glad that I realized what I was doing before I had chased all of the “strong will” out of her. She, and every child, will need to have a “strong will” at sometime in their life. Today’s children are bombarded by media that is telling them to buy this, act like this, look like this and it will take a “strong will” to stand up to all of that. Not to mention standing up to friends who want them to drink this, or smoke that or a myriad of other things that their friends will ask them to do. That “strong will” will come in very handy at times like that.
So…the next time your child is exerting their “will” , step back, stay calm, do not take it personally and realize what a wonderful teaching moment you are in. Both of you will benefit immensely!
Have some fun today!