I believe that staying calm is the single most important thing a parent can do for their children. Pretty big statement – I know. But having lived through three children I can tell you with complete honesty that staying calm saved my relationship with my children. And I know this for a fact because my eldest daughter has told me so!
When we lose our tempers, we scare our children – not just because we are loud and angry but also because suddenly they don’t know who is in charge. If we “lose it” our children figure that we are out of control ( which we are) and if we are out of control then there is no one in charge. And being a child and having no one in charge is a very, very scary feeling.
Before I learned how to control my anxieties, my eldest and I use to argue all the time – about big things and small. I would say that our relationship was at a low point but honestly I don’t think that we had a relationship.
Once I learned that losing my temper was MY problem, and I practiced and practiced staying calm, the arguments became less and less and we started to form a relationship, that not only was a pleasure while she was growing up, but that relationship has grown as we have both gotten older. Today, I have have wonderful relationships with all of my children. I treasure these relationships immensely, because I know how close I came to losing them.
So…practice, practice, practice staying calm. Remember that it is YOUR responsibility to control your anxieties and anger. You must do the work ,but I promise that if you do, the rewards will be amazing!
If you would like some strategies on how to do this, email me and I will help you to work on staying calm.
Have some fun today!