“By loving them for more than their abilities we show our children that they are much more than the sum of their accomplishments.”
― Eileen Kennedy-Moore, Smart Parenting for Smart Kids: Nurturing Your Child’s True Potential
It is easy to get into the habit of praising our children for what they do. It is easy to praise them for sitting still, for eating well, for brushing their teeth , for being quiet, etc. It is easy to praise them for their good grades, their athletic accomplishments and their creativity. And specific positive affirmations are something that all children should hear. But…they also need to hear that we love them just because of who they are and not what they do.
I remember when my children were babies and I just held them in my arms and loved them. They did not have to do anything at all and the loved flowed right out of my heart. Or when they were toddlers and they would climb into my lap and just want to cuddle. At that moment my love for them love was overflowing. As they got older these times became fewer and fewer. Maybe we all were just too busy, or maybe they were growing up and felt uncomfortable needing to cuddle.
I look back and I wonder. I hope that my children realize that I love them for more than their accomplishments. I hope that my children knew and still know that I love them as they are. Not because they are smart or athletic or creative. Not because they are teachers. Not because they are responsible young adults. I hope they know that I love them just for being them.
So…let your children know that you love them for more than their abilities. Do it now and keep on letting them know ” that they are much more than the sum of their accomplishments.” Then you won’t ever have to wonder, as I do, if they received that message.
Have some fun today!