“Optimists are right. So are pessimists. It’s up to you to choose which will you be.” — Harvey Mackay
When parenting children, especially children with ADHD, it is really easy to see and voice the negative. “Can’t you just wait…”. “I don’t understand how you could lose your homework again…” “You never pay attention when I am talking to you…” And lots of other negative messages that we send to our children every day, unaware of the damage it may be doing.
All children need to hear the positives in their life, but children with ADHD need to hear it even more because they hear so much negativity every day. All children will respond better when someone is not constantly telling then what they are doing wrong. All children will respond better when they hear what they are doing right.
Instead of “Why can’t you just wait…”you could try “I know that you have a lot of energy but I need you to stop and wait for me.” Instead of “I don’t understand how you could lose your homework again” how about “You seem to have trouble handing in you homework. How can I help you to find a way so they you always know where it is?” Instead of “You never pay attention when I am talking to you” you might want to say “Please stop for a minute, look at me and please pay attention to what I am saying.” You are, in actuality, saying the same thing, but in the second way it is much more positive and it is much more respectful.
As parents we can be pessimistic about our children. They never do what I ask. They never do their homework. They never pay attention and so on and so on. As Harvey Mackay says in our quote today you would be right. But you can also see the optimistic side and you will also be right.
So…pick one – optimistic or pessimistic – your choice. If you think about what you would rather hear I think the choice is pretty obvious?
Have some fun today!