“When talking with kids it’s not about what we say it’s about how we say it! Think about tone of voice and non-verbal communication.” Unknown ( from Kevin at More4Kids)
When I was growing up my mother never verbally abused me with words but she did have this tone of voice that conveyed a lot. Sometimes the tone “said” how annoying I was or how stupid could I be or for once in your life do what I ask you to do. It is pretty amazing to me that all of that was communicated by her tone of voice.
I guess hearing it so often made an impression on me and I was shocked to find out that when I was raising my children that same tone of voice came out of my mouth. When I trying to get out of my “witch on a broomstick phase” my husband and I had an agreement. If he heard that tone of voice from me he would simply say tone. Usually I would stop or as I say now, pause, breathe and try to say what I wanted to say not using that tone of voice that I so disliked as a child. It did not always work but it was a start and the more I was aware of it the better my tone of voice was. And in time I was able to recognize that tone, to pause, to breathe and then say what I wanted to say in another tone of voice. Words are important and we should choose them carefully. But we also need to choose our tone of voice carefully.
So…be aware of how you say things. Learn to pause and breathe before you interact with you children. Realize how much your tone of voice communicates and you and whole your household will be a much happier one!
Have some fun today!