“You can’t teach children to behave better by making them feel worse. When children feel better, they behave better.”
― Pam Lee
When I was in my “witch on a broomstick” phase my discipline was all about making my children feel worse. “Why did you do that?” “Can’t you please just do it this way, for once in your life!” “You never …..” All of these phrases and more would, I am ashamed to say, come flying out of my mouth in times of stress and chaos. There was no filter, there was no pause. It is certainly not a time I am proud of.
I am proud of realizing what I was doing and finding a way to make things better. I am proud of realizing that making my children feel worse did not help any situation. I am proud that I realized the importance of staying calm and connected to my children.
This past week I spent some time in two of my daughter’s classrooms. I watched as they patiently handled each potentially explosive situation with grace and caring. I watched them “teach” children instead of punishing children. I was awed and impressed with how they handled “their” children’s feelings while still keeping everything under control. I left their classrooms realizing that they will never have a “witch on a broomstick” phase in their life. I was so proud of them and so happy, that by getting help, I learned how to teach my children how to behave better without making them feel worse and thus taught them to do the same.
So…in the midst of the stress and the chaos remember today’s quote, “You can’t teach children to behave better by making them feel worse. When children feel better, they behave better.” Then slow down, pause, get your thoughts together and then take care of the situation. If you are stuck in a “witch on a broomstick” phase, please find someone who can help you get off of that broomstick and back on solid ground.
Have some fun today!