“Nothing gives one person so much advantage over another as to remain always cool and unruffled under all circumstances.”
-Thomas Jefferson, 3rd US president (1743-1826)
I believe that staying calm is the single most important thing a parent can do for their children. Pretty big statement – I know. But having lived through raising three children and for a long time not staying calm, I can tell you with complete honesty that staying calm saved my relationship with my children. And I know this for a fact because my eldest daughter has told me so!
When we lose our tempers, we scare our children – not just because we are loud and angry but also because suddenly they don’t know who is in charge. If we “lose it” our children figure that we are out of control ( which we are) and if we are out of control then there is no one in charge. Being a child and having no one in charge is a very, very scary feeling.
Before I learned how to control my anxieties, my eldest and I use to argue all the time – about big things and small. I would say that our relationship was at a low point but honestly I don’t think that we had a relationship.
Once I learned that losing my temper was MY problem, I practiced and practiced staying calm. The arguments became less and less and we started to form a relationship. A relationship that brought us closer every year and a relationship that has grown as the years have gone by. Today, I have have wonderful relationships with all three of my children. I know that the reason is that I learned and practiced how to stay calm. I treasure these relationships immensely, because I know how close I came to losing them.
So…practice, practice, practice staying calm. Keep practicing and soon you will see your patience muscles growing stronger and stronger. If you do the work, and if you keep practicing, I promise the rewards will be amazing!
If you would like some strategies on how to stay calm, email me and let’s talk about it.
Have some fun today!